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On the Echo of Love

September 22, 2015 by Andy Gillette

Love comes before grief.

Love comes before grief.

It’s an easy thing to forget, that love comes before grief.

During those first horrible days…during those early numbing weeks…during those initial months where there seems to be no bottom to the depths of your pain, it seems that desperate sadness has always been with you, and always will be with you. It’s hard to imagine a world in which grief isn’t all encompassing.

But, love comes before grief.

It seems that the pain of grief is the strongest emotion you’ve ever felt. It’s not.

Grief is merely an echo of the louder love that came before. Grief is no more than a paler reflection of the vivid love you felt initially.

Grief is but a shadow. Sometimes an infinitely dark, black shadow with sheer edges that cut you from the rest of the world. But remember, there is no shadow without light, and the brighter the source the more defined the line of shade. The initial bright love inside of you for your son, for your daughter, was there first, and is still there now.

A child came before death; love — between two people — came before our children, and brought them into this world however briefly; and the love of our parents brought us here before.

As Tolstoy said, “Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow; but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief, and heals them.”

Know that as painful as the grief may be at a given moment, that emotion can never be stronger than the love that was there first; that love is still there, and can be a source of strength. It’s proof that you’re a loving parent.

Love comes before grief…

…And love will be there after.