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Finding Healing Within Grief

October 26, 2016 by Sara Schmidt

While part of this grief journey includes revisiting questions about why our children died, it can be tempting to stay with the why instead of moving towards healing. I have found that writing has power, power to express emotion, power to unravel the mysteries of grief, power to inspire hope, and power to heal. It was not until this past month when I found some inspiration through a creative healing project that I was able to rediscover this passion.

I have found physical activity, especially running, hiking, and yoga to be healing as well. As my body has slowly recovered, I have found that I want to push myself and lose my breath, to push my body in a way that is new and yet familiar, to a place where I feel connected to my baby girl. I have found in yoga that I am able to devote that time to my daughter, to let my thoughts about her swirl around me and within me, and let my tears fall as they need to, without fear of judgement. My best writing has come to me while running or hiking within nature, amongst the trees. My mind is filled with thoughts as I wonder how the words will connect on paper. I have also found inspiration in photography, and while I am most definitely a novice, I have enjoyed trying to capture my grief through the beauty in nature.

I have discovered that there really are so many things in life that can be healing, that are helping me to continue on this journey. Watching a sunset or sunrise, sharing my grief, playing with my living daughter, embracing my tears, having a glass of wine, cooking a good meal, listening to music, taking a break from my grief; these all have healing powers. I am beginning to understand that there need not be just one thing that I do to heal, that I can choose one thing in one moment and then something else entirely in the next; the choice is what is important, because by choosing to heal, I am choosing to love and to live my life for both of my daughters.