Making life easier, one family at a time

With an infectious smile and a warm hello, Brenda Sulok greets patient families coming to Children's Hospital of Wisconsin. She knows many of the hospital's employees by their first names. Sulok, a Welcome Center ambassador, has worked for Children's Hospital and Health System less than a year. But, her link to the health system goes back much further.

Sulok and her husband of 25 years, Dennis, have served as foster and adoptive parents for two decades, originally through Lutheran Social Services and then through Children's Service Society of Wisconsin. "I checked into becoming a foster parent and within two months, I had two kids in my house because there was a shortage of foster homes."

Since 1988, 275 foster children have called the Suloks mom and dad. In addition to their biological daughters, Alicia, 28, and Dawn, 24, the Sulocks added four of their foster children as permanent members of the family – 19-year-old Mario and 17-year-old Anna, who are biological siblings, and 9-year-olds Essence and T.J.

All of the Suloks' adoptive children have medical issues. Both Mario and Anna were born premature with cocaine and alcohol exposure. Doctors thought Essence would always need a feeding tube. Today, she is able to eat everything by mouth. T.J. has a seizure disorder and cerebral palsy due to a traumatic brain injury. Sulok has been trained to care for the special needs of each of her children.

"Everybody wants to know they're wanted," Sulok said. "My [adoptive] kids know I picked them. Out of the hundreds of kids I have had, I picked you."

Sulok, who serves as co-chair for the Family Advisory Committee at Children's Hospital, helps make the patient-family experience at the hospital better through input from staff and patient families.

"I can definitely relate and empathize with the parents," said Sulok. "I know almost every clinic because I've been there. I know a lot of the staff."

Her experience as a patient's mother translates into her work life. "When I see parents, I know what they're going through," she explained. "I know the fear that goes with a hospital stay. Sometimes, you just want to give them hope."

Sulok builds relationships with many patient families who visit the hospital each day.
She tells the story of a family she met near the holidays last year. "They wanted me to come up and see their baby. They told me about how she was having a liver transplant. Then, it was 'Oh, shoot! She rejected it.' Then, 'Yay! We have another liver!,' followed by 'Oh, no. She rejected it again.'

"Finally, they came and asked me to kiss their baby goodbye. I asked a few people, 'What do you do in those cases?' They said they have never been that close to the
people who visit the hospital. But, I think, 'How could you not?'

"I kissed her goodbye just before they turned off the life support system. I gave
the family a hug. I left and I cried like a baby. Then, I had to go back to work.

"Every person deserves to see you at your best," she said. "They are probably going through 10 times worse than you are. They don't need any of your trouble. They have their own. I want to try and lighten their load. When they leave, I want them to know that Children's Hospital is great and someone tried to make life a little easier for them."